When I found out I was expecting twins one of the first things I started to think about was "how am I going to nurse two babies?"
I remember when I worked as a teller in my early twenties, there was a customer of mine who had twins. I remember talking with her about tandem nursing and being so amazed that she was able to do that.
I bottle fed my first baby after three weeks of nursing. My second I nursed exclusively until he was about 21 months. My third exclusively until she was 18 months and my fourth child I nursed exclusively until he was 2.5 years old. I am very passionate about breastfeeding however, I am not one to have any judgement on mothers who choose to bottle feed. Like I said, I bottle fed my oldest son after three weeks of nursing because I was struggling so bad with it, and neither him nor I needed that type of stress. Bottle worked best for that season in my life and nursing exclusively worked best for my other three children after him.
I chose not to read a lot of information about twin pregnancy, twin birth, and tandem nursing on purpose. I didn't join any twin mom groups either. Sometimes (most of the time), an overload of information can cause an incredible amount of stress and overwhelm so I chose purposefully to stay away from all of that. I trusted myself well enough to believe that I knew how to nurse and I would figure out how to nurse my twins (or if I would bottle feed them instead) when the time came.
I was given a book by my doctor on twin pregnancy and nursing or bottle feeding twins etc. and I read the entire book. There wasn't much information in it that I didn't already know or assume. That's really the only thing I read up on in regards to twin pregnancy, birth and nursing, prior to having them.
When the twins were born, I nursed them both soon after delivery but didn't attempt to do tandem nursing in the hospital. They were both great at latching and nursing from the start, especially Mara. Milla struggled slightly with staying latched but not enough for me to worry she wouldn't figure it out. My milk supply didn't come in fully until they were about a week old and so in the hospital the second night Milla was crying and crying and nothing would calm her. I had tried nursing her several times but she would pull off in frustration. In tears I called out to my husband. He came to me and I remember saying "she's so hungry I know it and I can't give her what she needs right now!" "What do you want to do?" he asked me. "I think I need to give her a bottle because she's hungry and I want her to be happy and full and sleep! I'm exhausted and need sleep too." "It's ok if she has a bottle." he reassured me.
We called the nurse and gave both Milla and Mara several ounces of formula. Milla gulped it down so fast and then crashed within moments of drinking the entire bottle. She slept four hours. The first night she was up all night fussing. The second night after a full tummy...she finally slept two four hour stretches.
I watched her sleep soundly next to me and my heart relaxed.... My milk supply would come in fully and I would be able to meet her needs but tonight, I needed help with formula and that was ok.
A few days after birth my oldest sister came to visit me and she helped me tandem nurse for the first time. I believe they were four days old at that point. Milla was only 6 pounds and Mara 5 pounds at this point and with them being so tiny and unable to latch on their own without a lot of help from me in the football position, it was hard for me to tandem nurse them. I needed to be able to hold both of their heads close to me and especially help Milla stay latched the whole time since she pulled of frequently which made her frustrated.
I tried to do tandem nursing several times without anyone's help over the first two weeks after they were born but it was just impossible to do without them being able to latch on in that position on their own. This meant though that I was nursing one at a time all.day.long.
I was nursing one baby for 15-20 minutes and then the other baby for 15-20 minutes. So 40 minutes of nursing then a 1 hour and about 15 minute break before I was nursing again because by that point it had been two hours since the first baby had nursed. During nursing sessions I had to keep the other baby calm while she waited her turn which could easily become very stressful.
After the first 2-3 weeks I was able to tandem nurse the girls by taking my boppy downstairs to our living room, laying one baby on either side of me while I sat down with the boppy, then reaching over and picking up one baby at a time and laying her on the boppy, then helping them get latched and help hold them on. I was constantly moving my huge boppy up and down the stairs which was exhausting as well. I eventually started nursing them in my room only so I didn't have to move the pillow around all the time and since they only nurse for about 10-20 minutes now, it's really not a big deal being away from my other kids during that time. The other kids mostly are off doing their own thing and self entertain the majority of the day while we're not doing school.
The first weeks weeks of nursing were not easy. My nipples were extremely soar and my milk supply was SO incredibly much that I was engorged and had mastitis two or three times. Every latch was painful and I remember taking hot showers during the day just to release some of the milk and to try to warm my body because of the chills from the mastitis.
I had kept all of the pre-made bottles that the hospital and the doctor's office had given me and I bought a few bottles and formula. For the first few weeks when we went out I would bring those with me. If I had to nurse while I was out I would give the babies the little bottle if I was nursing one and the other was crying. But, that became stressful as well because Mara absolutely hated the bottle and if the kids tried to help me bottle feed, they didn't know how to do it well and formula ended up everywhere. It also smells really bad and the smell of formula throw up was almost too much to handle.
There didn't seem to be a simple solution or answer and by around week 5 or 6 I was really struggling and had thought I'd made the decision to give up nursing entirely and just go to bottle feeding.
I had read blog post after blog post on "how to bottle feed twins" "how to tandem nurse twins" "is it ok to stop nursing your twins" etc. just trying to get clarity and make a decision on what to do because the indecision was slowly taking its toll on me
I started giving the girls two to three bottles a day around this point but immediately during the first 48 hours of doing that, Mara started throwing up a lot, having brown snot, and cried a lot during each bottle feeding....she hated everything about bottles and clearly her little stomach did too.
Two things happened during those few days I gave the girls those several bottles a day...
1. my milk supply slowed down and the engorgement FINALLY went away. I guess because the girls were nursing less, my body stopped producing so much and it was enough to ease the sore nipples and the over production of milk.
and then 2. watching Mara so miserable from the effects of the formula made what I needed to do absolutely clear. I needed to breastfeed exclusively because she needed me to and because deep inside I knew that's what I really wanted to...I just was so tired and frustrated I was letting all of those feelings overwhelm me.
With no plan B as an option I all of a sudden felt such an intense amount of peace and a huge burden lifted off of me. I tried tandem nursing again which I hadn't tried in several weeks. By this point the girls were much stronger and I was able to hold one in each arm, sit down on my chair with my twin nursing bobby, and get them both latched without anyone helping me or them needing me to hold them on.
It was the end of the pain and frustration of the last few weeks and the beginning of a beautiful nursing experience with my twin baby girls. Has it always been easy...no. But it's been worth it and I'm glad I pushed through the hard first few weeks.
The girls are now turning 6 months old this week. They both had probably 20 bottles during the first 6 weeks of their lives but have been nursing exclusively since. We have an incredible routine and rhythm now. When we go out I nurse them individually because tandem nursing in public just isn't exactly modest in any sense nor can I drag around a huge nursing pillow when I'm out because without that thing...it's basically impossible for me to tandem nurse. Once they are bigger and can sit up, we might not need the pillow as much but it's working out fine. When we go out, I always begin nursing the first baby before I see signs of frustration and hunger so that the other baby isn't left crying in desperate hunger waiting her turn. I try to go out right after they have nursed and then nurse once while we're out and then be home before a second feeding is needed. This has worked well for us.
It's hard to believe in another 6 months they will be eating a lot of table foods and nursing much less and our leaving the house will probably seem way less difficult.
Right now their routine looks something like this:
(this can change from day to day because with babies you just never know...right now they are both cutting teeth and are waking up more and taking longer to get back to sleep. I'm currently staying in a state of tiredness)
6am wake up and nurse.
8am nurse and back to bed.
10am awake and nurse
12:30pm nurse and back to bed
3:30pm awake and nurse
6/6:30pm nurse and in bed for the night.
10pm I usually nurse the girls when I head to bed for the night and then they go right back to sleep.
1:30 one baby wakes up to nurse. I wake up the other baby and nurse both.
1:50am all three of us back in bed asleep.
4:30 one baby wakes up. I wake up the other and nurse both.
4:50am all three of us back in bed asleep.
6am both girls wake up and our day begins.
That is a typical day right now however...there are plenty of nights where Milla decides laying awake and talking to me in babbles for 1-2 hours is a good idea OR one takes a short nap and cries out early and wakes the other baby and so the nap schedule shifts etc. It's never those set times 100% but that is like I said a pretty typical daily rhythm for the last two months.
I'm so happy that I didn't give up on nursing and that I stuck through the really hard few weeks we had. Sometimes you have to push through to get to the other side. Usually around week 6 is the turning point. So if you're struggling but really want to keep nursing, I hope you found this encouraging.
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