Christmas Puppies

When I was 4 years old my parents got us a collie puppy.  I loved her. She was my favorite thing in the entire world. I slept with her in her crate. I played with her all day. She was everything to me. Her name was Shelley. I remember she would chase my brother, sister, and me around the house for forever until we were all so exhausted.  There was only one problem...she peed in the house as soon as my dad would get home from work. My parents decided to get rid of her because of it. And my little heart was broken. I remember saying good bye to her. I remember telling her one day I'd see her in heaven and that I'd love her forever and that I'd never forget her. I never did forget her. I still wonder what happened to her. 

Ever since that day I wanted a puppy. I begged for a dog often. My parents became missionaries and we were traveling often for meetings. They said it wasn't the right time for us to have a dog with us traveling so much and then eventually leaving the country. When my parents decided to not be missionaries any more, I continued to ask for a dog but we still never got one...until I was 17. One day I came home and there he was...Duke. My mom and my little sister and brother had gone to the pound and picked him out. I remember being a little crushed.  I'd wanted a dog my whole life and now at 17 when I was in school, working part time, and about to graduate and move on with my life...we got a dog. I wasn't at a place in my life where I could really put time into a dog and besides Catherine and Carl were obsessed with him and he slept with them every night. He was their dog at that point. 

I loved Duke and did bond with him and actually he ended up becoming my dog because I lived with my dad for the first 2.5 years of Ruy's life and then we moved back in again for 2.5 years when Nathan and I were married while we were saving for our house. Then when my parents divorced and I wasn't living going to be living with my dad any more because we bought a house, Duke came to live with us because my Dad couldn't take care of him with the kinds of hours he worked.   I've lived with him for about 10.5 of his 13 years...longer than anyone else in our family, my kids all grew up with him and none of them remember a time without him.  He's the best with them and I love him so much.  

But I still have always wanted to go and pick out my own puppy.  Just something my heart still ached for.  My kids have also been asking for a puppy for some time, especially Ruy and Jude.  So when the kids couldn't come up with anything for their Christmas lists...we decided we'd get them a puppy.  But when we went to look at the puppies...I fell in love with BOTH of the puppies that were there. I couldn't leave without knowing Willow was mine. I just fell in love with them both instantly. So...that's how we ended up deciding on getting two pups. I knew it was going to be a crap ton of work but I knew I had so much love to give. 

Keeping them a secret from the kids for 5 weeks was SO hard. But I knew it would be the best Christmas surprise ever!!!  Nathan got off work on Christmas Eve morning and went and picked them up.

 We had the kids go wait in the boys' room and Nathan brought them inside in a big box.  We called them out and when they opened up the box...two sweet little pups popped out! You can watch the video below to see how the surprise went!!!

The kids were so happy and so excited. I hadn't seen Ruy smile like that in a long time and it was completely amazing to see him so happy. 

We named them Willow and Lennon and they are the sweetest most full of energy little things you'll ever meet.  We spent Christmas Eve getting them settled in, going to Petco to get them their beds and bowls etc. and then just playing in the yard with them and loving on them.  It was by far my favorite Christmas ever. 

My heart feels so full and so happy.  I know this is going to be an adventure and a lot of training (and cleaning up pee :) but it's going to be so worth it. 

Why I Am No Longer A Coach For Beachbody

Why I Am No Longer A Coach For Beachbody

This is probably going to be one of the hardest posts I ever write up.  I've taken days to get to this post because finding the right words seems so difficult. January 20, 2019 would have been my three year anniversary as a coach. But as of Friday, November 30, 2018....I canceled my coaching account. 

This came as a huge shock to most of my clients and my team.  However, it's been something that I'd been fighting with myself over for some time.  When you've invested three years of your life into something it's hard to walk away. But I knew in my soul it was the right decision for me and what I needed to do. 

So why though??? Why did I chose to cancel my coaching account and walk away from beachbody coaching?...

I want to first start with  saying what I love SO much about my coaching journey and what I'm thankful for...

1. It allowed me to find my passion in health, fitness, self care/love.

2. It taught me that personal development is SO important.  I've grown immensely over the last three years!  I have read so many books and found so many amazing influential and inspiring people because of the importance that beachbody placed on reading personal development.   I will never stop reading/learning/growing now and am SO incredibly thankful for coaching bringing that into my life. 

3. I met some of my closest friends. Coaching opened up a whole new world for me. I found a deep love for connecting with people outside of my small circle of friends and realized that social media is such an incredible tool for adding value to others, sharing what you love, and making incredible friends that otherwise you would never have known! 

4.  It kept me accountable to my journey.  Because working out, eating healthy growing myself was my JOB...it allowed me to break the cycle that I'd been on for years of starting a workout routine and then quitting a few days, weeks, months in.  It allowed me to believe in myself and know that I am capable of working out and taking care of myself.  

5.  It allowed me to travel alone for the first time and realize that I had an incredible desire for adventure!

6.  It sparked a huge passion in me for being an entrepreneur.

7.  It allowed me to help so many women to start their own journey and create healthy lifestyles themselves.  

8. It helped me to gain the confidence I needed to open up, be who I am, stop living just to please others or be who I thought other people needed me to be, and to go for what I want for my life. 

*I'm so grateful for my upline coaches being so supportive of me and my decision. These two leaders within our team are truly incredible women and I care about them so much and feel so blessed to have them in my life! 

So now that I've talked about all the things I am grateful for with coaching...I'll share WHY I decided to stop coaching. 

1. The meal plan that I started following when I became a coach was a portion control plan.  And while it has helped SOOOO many people...it eventually gave me massive food anxiety. Last fall/winter is when I remember starting to feel very afraid of food. I started to hate cooking, I was crying at every meal I had to cook, I was constantly complaining to my husband about food. Telling him I hate it all and I never wanted to cook again.  I was literally afraid to eat and resentful of food.  A new plan released and I thought I'd try that since it wasn't really restrictive and was super positive. However, this plan has you weigh yourself every day and focuses heavily on weightloss and it started to bring up a lot of things that I'd been working hard for years to release.  The need to weigh myself daily and obsessing over the # was previously a huge struggle and this plan was bringing all of those feelings back up. Both plans I do believe are incredible...but for me...neither were helping me.  They were causing anxiety and fears and obsessions I didn't want. It was getting harder and harder for me to recommend them when I didn't want to follow either plan any more.  Do I think these plans are good for other people?  Yes, I still believe these plans are good plans. They just weren't serving me well and I felt I needed to make a shift. 

2. Shakeology. Anyone who's followed me knows how much I love Shakeology. I've never ever made up how good I think it tastes or that I believe it's helped me so much. I think it's a wonderful product and I know it's helped so many people. But I noticed that Shakeology was starting to hurt my stomach terribly...after I would drink it I was bloating up, feeling nauseas, and feverish like.  I talked to my doctor about it and she asked me to stop drinking it altogether.  I have developed a lot of stomach pains and seem to be easily irritated by foods that didn't used to bother me.  My doctor and I both agree something in Shakeology is affecting me...allergic to something in it + possibly Shakeology caused me some digestive/gut issues.  Again, do I think Shakeology is good for other people? Yes, I do. It's just like I'm allergic to avocado but I still think they are good for other people...I personally just cant eat them.  

3.  I was feeling like I couldn't keep up with my needs and my family's needs.  I felt like I had been putting everyone else's needs before my own. I was beginning to dread getting up early and dreading working out. I was going days without showering, 1-2 weeks without brushing my hair, and just feeling completely exhausted.  I was struggling to keep up with housework, homework, and being there for my kids and husband the way they need me. Note: Not all coaches feel this way. This is my personal experience with what I was feeling at this season in my life. 

4. The amount of work it takes daily to work this business, whether actually to bring in a full time income or even to just pay for your products wasn't aligning with my priorities and goals any longer.  I was making enough to pay for my products each month, however the stress I was feeling...wasn't worth the income I was bringing in. So while I loved sooo many things about coaching...at this point it was causing me more stress than joy.  My doctor had been asking me for a year to cut away the things in my life that were causing me a lot of stress and I felt it was time to listen to what she was saying.  Note. I'm not against working hard.  But sometimes our work can be working against us instead of for us and for me this had become the case. 

5.  I felt my soul constantly nudging me to make a shift. My body was screaming out at me to SLOW down for a bit, take care of myself first again, pursue some of my other interests and passions,  be more present with my family, and find a better balance/flow in my life. 

So there it is... Why I decided to stop coaching for beachbody. 

So what now???? 

Right now I'm taking some time to slow down. To get quiet and figure out exactly what I'm needing/looking for. I think 2019 is going to be a year of exploring, healing, discovering new things, and finding myself in a whole new way. 

Sometimes we have to say no to something we love in order to make the space needed for something even better than we even expected to come into our lives. 

Will I miss coaching with beachbody...absolutely!  I've felt strange the last few days as I've been transitioning out of an identity I've held for nearly three years and I'm nervous as I'm trying to navigate what the next steps look like for me.  But I'm also excited about seeing what this next year has in store. 

I will still be sharing my health and fitness journey on social media because wellness is still one of my greatest passions. I'll still be using beachboy's workouts because I think they are incredible.  I'll still be sharing about my favorite recipes, my kids, personal growth, life...you know...all the things that matter to me! 

I hope you'll stick around for the journey and I hope to inspire others who have been feeling the nudge to make a shift that it's ok...it's ok to change. It's ok to let go of something that was once serving you but no longer is. It's ok to move on even though you're afraid of what others will think of you.  The people that really care about you will stay...and the ones that don't, they will leave. Do what's right for you and don't worry about the rest. Everything will fall into place as it should. Our job is to simply surrender and continue to grow and be our best selves. Not everyone is going to understand and that's ok.  You have to do what's right for you.

....I'd love to hear your feedback whether in the comments below or over on my FB or IG post that linked you to this post. 

FAMILY PICTURES 2018

Well Hello!!!  It's been a while since I blogged consistently!  But I'm working on getting back into the groove! I thought kicking off my re-entry into the blogging world with our family pictures would be a good place to start :)  If you're new to my blog, you can learn more about me here + here. :) 

I am SO incredibly IN LOVE with every picture that our photographer captured for us a few weeks ago. We hadn't had family pictures done in two years and I'd always wanted pictures along the river. These came out exactly how I envisioned them! So thankful for Shannon for capturing these memories for us! 

And...that's a wrap! Ah! I could stare at them all day long! Can't wait to get some of these hung up in our house! 

And PS.  if you're interested...you can read our more of mine and Nathan's story here. It's not finished yet. I started "our story" a few years ago when I began my blog but never got around to finishing it. It's on the to do list though :)