My Tips To Having A Natural Birth

Since having two natural vbacs in the past four years, I've had a lot of women ask me "How did you do it?  How did you get through the pain?  What advice do you have?"  I've spent hours talking with each of these women individually but I thought that I would write a post with some of my tips to having a successful natural un-medicated birth.  

Now before I get started on my tips I want to say that my first birth was a c-section.  I know a lot of women think that women who are all about natural childbirth have never had a c-section or never had an epidural and so therefore they have no idea what the other side looks like and can't really give advice.  

So I just wanted to let you know that I have been there.  I've been pushed into a c-section when it wasn't necessary.  I felt trapped, helpless, and like nothing I said or felt mattered.  I had an epidural.  I had my stomach cut open and was robbed of the joy of feeling my baby come out of me.  I was so sick from all the medication that other than a few seconds after he was born, I couldn't hold my baby for almost six hours.  Our bonding was messed up, he wouldn't nurse well because we were both medicated so much.  I was in so much pain I felt like I was dying, I couldn't move, I couldn't shower, I had difficulty holding my baby, the nurses kept him in the nursery a lot telling me I needed the sleep, they gave him formula because they said he wasn't getting enough milk from me.  I felt lost, alone, frustrated, angry, scared.  Having a c-section was the worst experience of my life.  It took me years to recover from the mental damage it did to me.  So please, understand that I have been there on that side and on the natural, un-medicated side and it's a much more beautiful place.  

I've had many women tell me they loved their c-section experience and I've had many women tell me that they just couldn't get through a vaginal birth without the epidural.   If a c-section is what you want then go for it.  I'm not here to judge you.  Every woman has to make the decision that they believe is best for them and their baby but my suggestion would be to do it once...see what it's like before you say you can't.   

So here are my tips on Having A Natural Birth:

1.  Use a midwife instead of a doctor.  

I can not stress how important I believe this is.  Please do not think that I think all doctors are terrible people and that you should never see a doctor or even if you do choose a doctor for your birth that you are a bad person.  There are a lot of amazing doctors out there and I appreciate all they do for us.  But both of the doctors I saw with my first two births were very pushy on c-sections.  My doctor with Ruy scheduled my c-section weeks before he was even born saying that he was going to be huge!!! (9 pounds...which by the way is not too big to deliver vaginally)  and that he was going to be breached.  Neither of these things were true...he was not breached and he only weighed 7 lbs 14 oz at birth.  So he told me I had to have a c-section.  I was 18 years old and thought that doctors had the final say and that I had to do what he said.  I didn't know I had the right to say "NO".  If I could go back into time I would change all of it.  I was at 7cm when they gave me the epidural for my c-section.  I probably would have been able to deliver him naturally very soon if I had only realized I had options.  Later I found out that my doctor with Ruy had put on my medical records that the reason for my c-section was due to "failure to progress" which was a complete lie.  It was years before I found out and was too late for me to do anything about it.  It makes me so sad that doctors can do this to women.  

When I was pregnant with Liam, my doctor told me that she was all for me having a vbac but did not  think it was a good idea for me not to get an epidural.  She basically tried to scare me into getting an epidural by telling me that if my uterus should tear and I hadn't had an epidural, then they would have to put me to sleep for an emergency c-section and that my husband wouldn't be allowed in the room so we both would miss the baby's birth.  I told her that I really wasn't worried about tearing since she had already told me there was only .5% chance of it tearing and that I was going for an un-medicated birth.  I should have known right there when she said that to "GET OUT".  But once again I wasn't really sure where else to turn.  I didn't even really know about midwives at that point.  So I stayed with her through my whole pregnancy with Liam but felt the whole time like we had no connection and like she was highly upset with my decision.  But I did it!!! I had a successful un-medicated vbac with Liam.  I plan on writing up both Ruy & Liam's birth stories eventually.  

When I got pregnant with Alanna I knew I had to have something different.  So I went to a midwife center.   Oh my...how I wish I had used a midwife with Ruy & Liam.  My midwife is SO incredibly amazing.  She is 100% supportive of my decisions to have a natural birth and is so caring and kind it's so wonderful.  We talk sometime for 40 minutes during my appointments and not just about the appointment related stuff.  We chat like we are friends...because well we are friends.  She hugs me when I come in and during my last appointment I actually had a melt down and cried to her for like 10 minutes!  Never could I have done that with the doctors I saw before.  She helped me work through a lot of my fears after being so traumatized by my previous births and gave me lots of advice and tips to help have a better natural birth.  And I'm so happy to say that Alanna's birth was pretty much perfect.  Obviously natural birth hurts and not everything went 100% as I had hoped but I left the hospital leaving behind a lot of pain and hurt that had haunted me for years.  You can read Alanna's birth story here.   Oh and my midwife only has a 3% c-section rate.  My previous doctor had about a 40% c-section rate!  

I'm using the same midwife center during this pregnancy with Jude and it's been wonderful.  So again I can not stress enough the importance of using a midwife.  I really think it makes all the difference.  

2.  Your husband needs to be your biggest support during labor & delivery. 

This is so important.  Nathan is so supportive of my decision to go natural.  He thinks it is awesome and is always amazed at how much pain I am able to endure through it all.  He and I discuss how I want the birth to go before it happens because when I'm in labor, I'm not always up for talking with the nurses and telling them what I want or need.  So it's very important that he know exactly what my goals are.  He holds my hand through each contraction, tells me when it's almost over, tells me I can do it.  There were times when I felt like I just couldn't get through and he helped me push through and be strong.  Once I even told him to get me the epidural and he so gently reminded me how bad I wanted to go natural and that I was strong and that I could do this.  Through his gentle encouragement I was able to get hold of my emotions and get on top of the pain and push through.  Without his support I'm not sure I could have made it.  I truly believe that your husband being 100% there (not watching tv or text messaging people) helping you, supporting you, makes all the difference.  

3.  Be comfortable...feel beautiful. 

I hate hospital gowns.  They are ugly, big, and frumpy.  If you feel ugly then you are less likely to feel good about anything that day.  When I was in labor with Alanna I wore my own gown, wore make-up, and had my sister braid my hair.  Wow!  What a difference that made for me.  Since I have vbacs I have to be hooked up to the monitor at all times and to be perfectly honest with you...having all those wires on me really really really stresses me out.  I hate it.  I hate not having as much freedom to move around.  I hate not being able to get into the water if I want to.  I hate the restrictions.  But having my own gown and having my hair and make up done really helped to calm me down.  I felt a million times better after all that happened and I was able to really focus on getting through the contractions.  I will say that the gown I wore with Alanna was not the best choice of a gown since I have to be hooked up to the monitor.  I had to have it pulled way up so that it didn't interfere with the cords and that bothered me.  This time,  I'm planning on buying a gown that is made to work with monitor cords.  

4.  Get your mind in the right place.  

So much of getting through labor is mind control.  You have to relax and be calm.  You have to tell yourself that you can get through it.  You can't go in to labor being wishy-washy saying to yourself "well if the pain gets really bad then I'll get the epidural but I'll see how long I can last."  If you go into it like that, chances of you having a natural birth are pretty low.  Research about natural birth, read books, read blogs, talk to your midwife or doctor, talk to other women who have done it.  Do not go into it completely unprepared.  Bring things to the hospital that help calm you...pictures of your kids, pictures your kids have given you, music, flowers, inspiration quotes, etc.  Set it in your mind that you can do this because you are strong! 

5.  Use different positions.  

Please don't labor in bed!!!  Laboring in bed has to be the post painful thing ever!!!  Every time I have to be checked to see how dilated I am I start crying.  Just thinking about it makes me want to cry.  It's so painful and if I had to labor in bed the whole time there is no way I could deal with the pain for 10+ hours like my laboring times are.  Use a chair, walk the halls, sit on a ball, take shower, get in the tub, lean on the bed, squat...there are so many options other than laying on your back in a bed!  Also, you can use other positions to deliver.  Make sure you talk with your doctor or midwife about what positions are best and if your doctor will even allow you to use a different position other than laying down to deliver.  My doctor with Liam said that the only position she allowed was to deliver laying down.  I had no choice!  So just make sure you look into what other options you have.

6.  Be flexible.

It is a good thing to have a "birth plan" but remember that births don't always go as you had planned and sometimes we have to be flexible in order to keep the baby safe.  In some cases, this does end up meaning you have an emergency c-section.  And that's ok.  I have several friends who almost lost their baby but through an emergency c-section their baby was saved.  True & real emergency c-sections are sometimes necessary and a good thing.

*Just a note:  I am not judging anyone who has had or chooses to have a c-section or vaginal birth with an epidural.  Every birth is different.  Every mother is different.  And we must all make what choice we feel best for our situation.  This post was simply meant to help encourage women who want to have a natural birth. 

Well those are my top tips for having a successful Natural Birth.  If there are any other questions you have, please email me or leave a comment below and I will get back to you.  Also, if you have any other advice, please let me know!  I'm always up for more help to have a better birth :)